Actual News

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Noise

"SHOCKING: What This CEO Said Will Change Everything"

Signal

Acme Corp CEO announced 2,000 layoffs, citing AI-driven restructuring. Stock rose 4% on the news.

Noise

"Dems SLAM Republicans in explosive hearing that left everyone SPEECHLESS"

Signal

Senate committee voted 6-5 along party lines to advance the Border Security Act. Dems oppose asylum caps; GOP cites enforcement gaps.

Noise

"Scientists make SHOCKING discovery that could CHANGE EVERYTHING about how we think about sleep"

Signal

Stanford study: 7-hour sleep window reduces amyloid-beta buildup by 18%. Peer-reviewed, n=312.

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